It had to happen: Dead Michael Jackson Jokes

I just wasn’t expecting to to happen so quickly. Still, despite the sadness of the affair, every famous death comes with a certain amount of humor, and some of these jokes, while tasteless, ARE funny. For example:

Michael Jackson is not going to be buried or cremated but recycled into shopping bags so he can remain white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.

Your best MJ jokes in the comments, please!

[Link: Dead Michael Jackson Jokes, thanks cligor!]

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Stand-up comedy by Twitter

So some comedians decided to try holding an online stand-up comedy night. The results? Well, you can read a transcript of the evening yourself.

[Link: Twitter Comedy]

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42 essential 3rd act plot twists

I’ve been following the Dreden Codak webcomic for a while, and occasionally something really funky comes out of it. In this particular case, it’s a list of 42 3rd act plot twists that can, and often does, happen. The twists are arranged on a matrix, so along the top you have peripeteia (your standard plot reversal), anagnorisis (realization of things as they actually are; see the link for deeper explanations), petard hoist (done in by your own machinations), reverse macguffin (reverse driving plot element), Shyamalan (plot twist as written by M. Night Shyamalan), Double Shyamalan (double the fun of a standard Shyamalan), and deus ex machina (literally, God from the machine, where a plot device appears from nowhere to solve all the problems). Along the side, are the standard genres of fiction: tragedy, thriller, science, horror, fantasy, and mystery.

I dare you to come up with a work of fiction that fits each plot twist.

[Link: Dresden Codak - 42 essential 3rd act twists]

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Bundle of jokes I made up

Apologies for any of these having being invented before.

• Both my parents, my aunts and uncles, myself, and all my siblings have this incurable diarrhoea. You might say it runs in the family.

• Some Jewish fellows make their way into an ancient Palestinian naval base buried OVER 9,000 feet underground. As they’re getting deeper underground they discover that they’re slowly turning to salt! Well, turns out that they were Hasidic, and that’s what happens when you mix a hacid with a base.

Yea, crap jokes, I know, but I never can find a way to make them funnier.

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Today’s really baa-aa-d joke

Yes, I make these up. No, I can’t stop. Yes, I know they’re awful. No, I won’t restrain myself.

Insulting man: Why you son of a hairy goat!
Big strong guy: What did you just call me??
Insulting man: Hey, hey! I was only kidding!!

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Today’s Insanity: Live action Elite Beat Agents

Elite Beat Agents is perhaps one of the best games to ever hit the Nintendo DS system, and if you don’t know yet, the game features three “agents” who act as a sort of urban metrosexual cheerleading squad. Hey, I never said the premise made much sense. In any case, stripped down, the game is a rhythm action game which has you tapping numbers on the touchscreen in time to the rhythm of the music, all this set to a story about overcoming strange odds (one of the stages, for example, is about a weather lady who promises a picnic with her son, and so falsely predicts sunny weather, and her ensuing attempts to chase the clouds away, all put to the music of “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire).

If you STILL can’t get a grip on what I’m on about, watch this to get a better idea.

So why all this background info about a (brilliant) game you’ve probably never played? Because this one is good; the guys at Mega64 decided to hold a live-action version of Elite Beat Agents to see how the people around them would react. And it’s well funny. Check it out.

[Link: Mega64 - Elite Beat Agents, via Kotaku]

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Kids say the darndest things

This Babble collection of cute kiddie quotes had me laffing. Kids are funny!

“We could try Kung Fu…” H, age 4, when asked by his teacher how some of his classmates could resolve a conflict.

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Today’s hilarity: Obama speaks in complete sentences

Over at the Huffington Post, there’s a tongue-firmly-in-cheek article about how Mr. Obama, in defiance of over 8 years of presidential precedent, speaks in complete sentences.

But Mr. Obama’s decision to use complete sentences in his public
pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last
eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.

Read the whole thing. It’s hysterical.

[Link: Obama's use of complete sentences stirs controversy]

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Top 10 ways to amuse a geek

I’m just gonna link the site, cos it’s funnier that way.

[Link: Top 10 ways to amuse a geek]

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Challenge: How many puns can you make from this?

Key words: Finance Comittee Chairperson, Nhlanhla Nene, SABC2 interview, the Rand falling/ toppling/ plummeting, heavy, crack and chair.

Intelligent wisecracks also permitted, as well as innuendo.

News article relating to this story here and here.

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