Quiting Excel – Not!

I am doomed forever to use Excel (*sinister laugh from MS*).

Excel was taking it’s time opening a spreadsheet, and I (innocently – I tell you – innocently!) clicked the Close button. Result:

Aargh!

Excel is my new god!

All hail the mighty Excel!

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Think of religion as a movie…

I’m not sure which message board this came out of, but it’s pretty dang funny. I lol’d. A lot.

If you can’t read it, it says:

No, Moslems don’t believe that Jesus was the Messiah.

Think of it like a movie. The Torah is the first one, and the New Testament is the sequel. The nthe Qu’ran comes out, and it retcons the last one like it never happened. There’s still Jesus, but he’s not the main character anymore, and the messiah hasn’t shown up yet.

Jews like the first movie, but ignored the sequels, Christians think you need to watch the first two, but the third one doesn’t count, Moslems think the third one was the best, and Mormons liked the second one so much they started writing fanfiction that doesn’t fit with ANY of the series canon.

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Russian through an exorcism not a good idea

Ok, I couldn’t help myself with that joke, but my good friend at One Large Prawn blog has an interesting post about exorcism in Russia. He’s even helpfully provided an audio clip. According to the linked article:

In the case of the sixteen-year-old girl, she was in a one-on-one
session with Father Basil. Watching from just several feet away, Eugene
could see that the girl possessed extraordinary strength as her mother
struggled to keep her seated. As can be heard on the recording, her
voice changed radically. Her face contorted and displayed “total hate”
for the priest as she cursed at him.

Toward the end of the recording, the girl, with an unearthly
voice, shouts something in Russian at the priest. The translation,
Eugene says, is, “I am not leaving her! I am not!”

The clip itself is well freaky to listen to, and the sounds are…well, not something I’d fall asleep to. Part of me wants to shout “shenanigans!”, or the Russian equivalent thereof (what IS the Russian equivalent of “shenanigans”?), but I’ve also experienced too many weird things myself to be able to just throw the whole idea out completely.

So what’s your verdict? Shenanigans, truth, or just plain freaky?

[Link: OneLargePrawn - Listening in at a Russian exorcism]

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Where spelling mistakes mean incomprehensibility

[Source: Fail Blog]

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‘There is no God’ adverts

As from the Times Online “Richard Dawkins launches ‘There is no God’ adverts on buses across Britain“

In a nutshell:

The archsceptic professor Richard Dawkins today launched Britain’s first atheist campaign posting the message: “There’s probably no God. So stop worrying and enjoy your life” on the side of 800 British buses.

“probably“?

Organisers of the four-week campaign said they had included the word “probably” because they did not want to be dogmatic in the way that so many religious leaders are.

Reaction from Atheists:

Hanne Stinson, chief executive of the British Humanist Association, said: “The incredible response to the Atheist Campaign shows just how many atheists out there have been looking for a voice. Now that the buses are rolling out across the country, I feel sure that everyone with non-religious beliefs who spots one of these buses on the streets will be delighted to see what this amazing appeal has achieved.”

Reaction from religions:

Many Christian groups and churches welcomed the campaign for putting God into such a prominent position in the public eye.

Paul Woolley, director of the religious think tank Director of Theos, said: “We think that the campaign is a great way to get people thinking about God. The posters will encourage people to consider the most important question we will ever face in our lives.

My reaction?

Woohoo

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Anti-Israel Christmas Carols

There is a bit of an uproar in the UK … about rewritten Christmas Carols, and then singing them in a church. As from the Telegraph article:

The event, titled “Bethlehem Now: Nine Alternative Lessons and Carols”, was held last week St James’s, Piccadilly and organised by Open Bethlehem, a Palestinian group and Jews for Boycotting Israeli.

It saw Once in Royal David’s City sung as: “Once in Royal David’s City, Stood a big apartheid wall, People entering and leaving, Had to pass a checkpoint hall, Bethlehem was strangulated, And her children segregated.”

The Twelve Days of Christmas was refashioned as: “Twelve assassinations, Eleven homes demolished, Ten wells obstructed, Nine sniper towers, Eight gunships firing, Seven checkpoints blocking, Six tanks a-rolling, Five settlement rings, Four falling bombs, Three trench guns, Two trampled doves, And an uprooted olive tree.”

Then, over to the Mail Online for reactions:

Bruce Kent, a former Roman Catholic priest and prominent peace campaigner who will read one of the lessons, said: ‘I think it is perfectly reasonable for carols to be rewritten in this way. ‘I am fed up with sugary religion – the baby Jesus sitting in his stable and all that stuff.’

Compared to:

‘Many British people have a great affection for Christmas carols and will be offended that they’re being used in such an overtly political way.’

And:

‘This is the blatant politicising of the Christian festival of Christmas, and that in itself is offensive to many Christians.’

My reaction? Well, given that JZ now sees himself as “Jesus Christ Superstar” (my words), I think these rewritten carols could find supporters in SA.

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