And now for some punny poetry

The first verse might look familiar, but the second and third verses are local, home-grown talent in action:

Verse 1

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded; Sumo Bank has gone belly up; and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song; while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks; and investors are reported to be in the dark about Ninja Bank.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop; and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared staff may get a raw deal.

Verse 2

While everyone’s fighting we’re forgetting about Honda Building Institute where the wheels came off completely, National Bank of Anime that completely lost the plot and Haiku Bank whose share price changed from 17 Yen — the first time in the bank’s history and a horrifying experience for its investors.

Sushi Bank did report that it tried to save its subsidiary Wasabi Loans, but the horse had truly bolted and the market had really pasted it too much.

But why forget the good news re Fuji Bank where stock prices soared to record highs, unlike Tsunami Bank where shareholders waved their investments goodbye?

Verse 3

Stocks in the Nippon Brake Pads are coming to a standstill, while matters at YKK seem to have come unzipped.

Nippon Airways are seeing soaring profits, while Canon’s investment strategy seems picture perfect.

Seiko’s portfolio is ticking along nicely, although Citizen did announce that they’re winding down business. Isuzu are motoring along quite nicely, but many feel that Kansai Power Company are doing shockingly.

Sega, Nintendo, Namco, and Konami are facing the market problems with their game faces on.

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Paradise Lost, But Fantastic Story Found

Paradise Lost by John Milton is an enthralling and amazing epic poem. Yes, it tells of the battle between Heaven and Hell in glorious detail. And yes it tells how Adam and Eve lose paradise. But, just as moving for me, was how someone else lost paradise and lamented that horrible loss in beautiful prose: Satan.

The devil made him do it

It’s not often that you sympathise with the devil and even side with him (unless you’re an Al Pacino fan in The Devil’s Advocate). But reading Paradise Lost, it’s hard not to.

There’s a heroic feel about the way he goes up against heaven and how he dares to challenge his creator who seems to mock him endlessly. There’s a beauty in the battles that he wages with himself and his maker and how his ambivalence about causing the downfall of humanity makes you want to curse him in one verse and cheer him on in another.

And as you feel Adam’s shock and sadness when he sees Eve eating the fruit and drops the wreath he made for her, you wonder if the devil isn’t silently shedding a tear — both for Adam and Eve and for himself. Because the fledgling war between heaven and hell signalled another paradise lost for the angels of heaven. Now they would forever battle, the outcome seesawing between them and never able to return to the joy of days when they celebrated their existence and creator together.

Satan seems all so human.

At last, I made it

As some may know, this was my 3rd attempt at the book and without a doubt I thoroughly enjoyed it, despite a couple of overlong passages weighed down by an obscene amount of Greek and Roman mythology and Biblical references (but that’s probably because I didn’t know most of them). I did do a semester of Greek Mythology at varsity, but this was ridiculous.

It took me a while to finish the book, having to get used to the prose while commuting on the bus and tube. Once you do get into it, though, it flows smoothly and you start singing along with the meter unwittingly. It’s also a bit difficult at first to get into the language, although modernised, but once in you don’t want to get out. It’s a bit like hearing a song the first time that you really dislike and after a couple of hearings you find yourself putting it on your top playlist (I’m sure “Umbrella” by Rihanna comes to mind here for some people?).

My favourite scene is when Satan, just after tricking Adam & Eve, meets up with Death and Sin and tells them to go “prepare” things for him and his cronies. They merrily oblige and start organising things on Earth for the next big bash. Classic.

I can’t vouch for its accuracy and Adam does seem a tad bit dismissive of Eve at regular intervals (her being so “good with domestic affairs”), but it’s a brilliantly told story and really a fantastic read. It’s a bit of effort, but a paradise of payoff.

Quotes

I’ll end off with some of my favourite quotes:

Meanwhile inhabit lax, ye powers of heaven

– An angel telling Adam & Eve to relax and take a chill pill

The old favourite:

Thus Belial, with words clothed in reason’s garb, counseled ignoble ease, and peaceful sloth, not peace.

– Announcing Belial, the smooth-talking, car-salesman demon.

And my favourite:

How few sometimes may know, when thousands err.

– And the thousands never want to ask the few either

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