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Posts Tagged ‘Jokes’

I just wasn’t expecting to to happen so quickly. Still, despite the sadness of the affair, every famous death comes with a certain amount of humor, and some of these jokes, while tasteless, ARE funny. For example:

Michael Jackson is not going to be buried or cremated but recycled into shopping bags so he can remain white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.

Your best MJ jokes in the comments, please!

[Link: Dead Michael Jackson Jokes, thanks cligor!]

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Bundle of jokes I made up

Apologies for any of these having being invented before.

  • Both my parents, my aunts and uncles, myself, and all my siblings have this incurable diarrhoea. You might say it runs in the family.
  • Some Jewish fellows make their way into an ancient Palestinian naval base buried OVER 9,000 feet underground. As they’re getting deeper underground they discover that they’re slowly turning to salt! Well, turns out that they were Hasidic, and that’s what happens when you mix a hacid with a base.

Yea, crap jokes, I know, but I never can find a way to make them funnier.

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Today’s really baa-aa-d joke

Yes, I make these up. No, I can’t stop. Yes, I know they’re awful. No, I won’t restrain myself.

Insulting man: Why you son of a hairy goat!
Big strong guy: What did you just call me??
Insulting man: Hey, hey! I was only kidding!!

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Programmer Jokes

Best Programming Jokes

My favourites

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardare problem
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

[Full article]

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