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Posts Tagged ‘pets’

Insane awwwh: Pet diaries

cat hitting dog

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.”
I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now!

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I was looking through an earlier blog entry and discovered *dramatic music*, the ugliest dog competition. Now even if you have heard of it before, it oddly draws your eyes!! Nooo, I can feel them being sucked innnnnnnn. So check out below and you can even download one of those beauties onto your desktop – go on, you know you want to. But I think they should call it, “Who looks the most like a Gremlin?” – I mean, come on, wasn’t that what you thought when you saw this picture?

Ugly Dogs

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